Fear Less: A Book, a Play, a Perspective on Life that Changes Everything….

Change your relationship with Fear to thrive and come alive!

In 2022 a client told me I had to see Dear England: a game ostensibly about football, but really about the psychology of success. It is a fictionalised account based on the work of Dr Pippa Grange, Head of People and Team Development at The Football Association from 2017 until 2019, as she supported Gareth Southgate in the turnaround of the England football team.

The play is brilliant and the book Fear Less, even better. As a business coach, I was captivated by how often the stories in Fear Less resonated with my own experience and the real life events of organisations I work with. The book isn’t about elite sports: it is about the everyday way in which we allow a culture of fear to cripple and constrict our lives, our families, our communities, and wider society.

One of the most common phrases I hear when working with leaders, especially founders and those in scale-up mode is “I’m afraid this might not work….what will I do if I fail?”

It’s often said quietly, behind closed doors, and usually followed by a list of self-critical, self-shaming reasons why they shouldn’t feel that way.

But here’s the thing: Fear is completely natural in the context of building something bold. We step outside our comfort zones, we decide to care less about what others think, and we focus on what matters most to us. The worst kind of fear is the one that has no basis in truth, no evidence behind it, and comes from a place of lack: of feeling not good enough, not clever enough, not deserving enough.

How we relate to fear, the conversations we have with fear, and whether we let it shape our decisions, or simply provide relevant information when we need it, is key.

Fear as Data, Not Direction

Fear, that surfaces as excitement or nerves isn’t always a bad sign. In fact, it often shows up right at the point where something important meaningful is about to happen. It’s our brain’s way of saying, “This matters.”

Rather than trying to silence it, I often encourage clients to get curious.

Pause. Recognise the fear. Name it. What’s this fear pointing to? Is it about doing something new, or fear of failure? Is it the judgement of others?
Accept it. I often have conversations with my fears. “I hear you…its going to be okay…I know you are my subconscious trying to protect me…”
Evidence it. Is the fear justified, really justified? What happened last time you did something similar? Do you need to prepare in some way? What is the worst case scenario? Can you live with that? What is the upside?
Smile and Decide. When we stop treating fear as something to avoid and start treating it as data, we gain power. We make space for braver choices. Smile at your humanity and move on!

The Problem with Playing from Fear

Small businesses don’t thrive on tentative leadership. They grow through thoughtful risk, clear conviction, and the courage to try. That doesn’t mean throwing caution to the wind, far from it. But playing small to stay safe rarely builds the kind of organisations we admire.

When a leadership team leads from fear, it tends to show up in the culture too: in slow decision-making, risk-aversion, blame or a reluctance to challenge the status quo. And over time, this can erode innovation and stall momentum.

Dr Pippa Grange says fear creates over-controlling cultures, restricts mental freedom, and betrays trust. It is predatory, passive aggressive, and stifles teams from flourishing. She also acknowledges that it takes time and commitment to recognise and dispel negative controlling fear..

“the deep and lasting work to make fear play a much smaller part in your life will also happen at the level of your unconscious, and it will take effort to get there, and time to bed in”

Creating a Culture That Supports Courage

Start where you are. Culture matters. It can be the glue that binds, or the poison that erodes.

In a successful business, Culture runs parallel with Strategy. You need both. If people feel safe to raise their hand, challenge thinking, or ask ‘what if?’, then a team becomes more innovative, happy, and resilient; which includes less dependence on a few individuals to hold all the risk.

A healthy culture doesn’t eliminate fear. It does give it context. It asks for experience, evidence, and analysis, and ensures that fear doesn’t become the loudest voice in the room.

Fear Less, Not Fearless

It is important that Dr Pippa Grange’s book is called Fear Less, not Fearless. I am with her on that. I’m not an advocate of fearlessness. That’s a myth and speaks to bravado, machismo, and false courage. An old world order. What I’m suggesting is that we fear less by cultivating trust; starting with ourselves. You have an inner wisdom which can provide you with clarity and a ‘north star’ when you pause to listen to it. You still experience fear, but it becomes a small part of what you know, feel, and think. You can look at fear with gentleness and empathy, name it (shame, judgement, failure, loneliness…) and bring your strengths and innate goodness to the fore when stepping out.

When we do that, we start to make decisions not from a place of protection, but from a place of purpose. And that’s where real growth begins.

My Takeaways to You: Fear as Fuel for Growth

Notice the fear: Don’t dismiss it. Ask yourself: What is this fear really about? What’s it trying to protect? Do I need to check anything for evidence?
Reframe risk: Consider what you might be missing by not acting. Playing it safe often carries its own kind of risk. What does personal growth mean to me? What is my success?
Create space for brave thinking: Foster an environment where your team can challenge assumptions and experiment. Investigate concepts of Growth Mindset and Innovation.
Act with intention: You don’t need to be fearless, just willing to act alongside the fear. Release self-criticism. It serves no useful purpose. Fear does dissipate over time.